Broke, Fabulous, & Traveling: What I Learned in Bali

Over a month ago (I know, I'm late publishing this post, but if you know me you know I'm always running at least 15 minutes late), I spent 10 days in Bali with my parents and one of my siblings. My family went to Bali for 3 weeks when I was 18, and my parents went back during their first extended trip to Asia last year.

We spent a couple days in Canggu, a recently touristy beach town in the southwest, and about 5 days in Ubud, a popular destination closer to the center of the island. During these 10 days (well, 8 — we spent more than 2 full days traveling), we ate great food, revisited some favorite places, played cards for hours on end, and generally just chilled the f out.

One of my favorite things that I got to do in Bali was have some quality one-on-one time with my family. I get to see my family a couple times a year, and our time together is becoming more and more significant the older I get.

At coffee with my mom one day, I told her about how I wanted to do that cliche thing white women do when they travel to Bali and really find meaning in my life. I'd been struggling all winter to feel like the life I was leading was significant in any way, and wanted to take advantage of this extended free time to buckle down and Figure Shit Out. I didn't know how, but I wanted to sit down and write a bunch of lists that would tell me what I could do to feel happy.

My mom didn't offer any advice on what to include in this plan I wanted to have.

"You've been using so much of your energy to stay alive for so long. Now that you don't need to do so much to make it through each day, don't feel pressured/act on that perceived pressure to use that extra energy you no longer HAVE to use," she told me.

"You're not going to figure out exactly what brings you joy," she said, "in the next year. You're going to spend your whole life searching for meaning, and that's going to be one of the biggest themes in your life."

If you read my last blog post, you might have an idea of the mindset I was in when I went to Bali.

One common thread in my life is that I try to plan everything. I write list after list after list and tell myself that all I need to do is take action on what's on the lists and everything will work the way I want it to. This urge only gets bigger when I'm feeling stressed, anxious, depressed, or otherwise emotional.

Like I told my mom, I've found myself struggling to find meaning in my life lately. I don't know why. Another instinct when I'm having a hard time is to buckle down and figure out WHY, but I'm learning that sometimes feels more like solving a problem than it actually is. When appropriate, I'm trying to let myself experience and work through emotions without extending them by dwelling on them.

My immediate response to my perceived lack of meaning was, of course, to make a bunch of lists and buckle down to get shit done. "I'm just stressed," I told myself, "because of some work stuff. All I need is time to make a plan to be happy and then I can do all those things and then I'll be happy."

But my mom was right: making a plan to be happy was impractical and unnecessary. I wasn't going to be able to figure out how to be fulfilled in the period of 10 days, nor should I push myself to try. I'd never even considered that I could take a step back and relax a little bit once I'd gotten to the point of safety in my mental health.

I definitely find myself working on a plan to lead a meaningful life, but I'm trying to give myself credit for everything I already do and give my future self some benefit of the doubt. I'm going to keep trying new things and sticking with things I already know I like. So, I guess, just living life?

What's in My Carry-On?

When I was packing for my trip to Vietnam, I realized that I can pack my carry-on bag with my eyes shut. I've been traveling since I was 13 days old. More recently, I get on a plane every couple months.
Apart from the basics (Phone, wallet, keys), this is what I pack with me when I fly.

1. Ear plugs: I don't sleep well on planes. I've tried medication, neck pillows, and just staying awake. Ear plugs, especially the ones I've linked to, keep the annoying plane noises at bay when I'm sitting there with my eyes shut for 1-3 hours. This is especially essential when I'm flying past 10 pm at the time of my destination. My big trick for beating (or at least minimizing) jet lag is adjusting to the time at your destination as soon as you get to the airport.
2. Eye mask: Similarly, my eye mask eliminates one more sense from being overloaded when I'm trying to relax.
3. A new book: So many (too many) airports don't offer free wifi, and I'm completely unwilling to shell out money for wifi on the plane. I love to read, so this free time without any distractions is the perfect time to do so.
4. A condensed snack: Airports and planes have notoriously overpriced yet low-quality food. No matter whether my flight is 30 minutes or 16 hours, I always bring a bar, some pretzels, and some almonds with me. These snacks help fill me up but don't take up too much space.
5. Phone charger: I mean... Duh.
6. Headphones: A girl's gotta listen to her podcasts somehow!
7. Ginger candy: Embarrassing fact: I get motion sick really easily. I don't actually throw up, but I get nauseated and dizzy and headache-y. Ginger is an easy and accessible way to soothe nausea. I like ginger gum or hard candies– they let me savor them a little longer. I don't know if the length of time the ginger is in my mouth affects how long my nausea is quelled, but the placebo effect sure does wonders.
8. A sweater: Why are planes always so cold?? If, for whatever reason, am not too cold, I can use this as a pillow.
9. Portable charger: Just in case I'm stuck on a plane or shuttle without outlets.
10. Lip moisturizer: Ever since I learned that most lip balms have an ingredient in them that make your lips drier, I've stuck to moisturizers that were intended to be used on other parts of your body. I've had this swivel stick for nearly two years, and it's not running out any time soon.
11. Computer (in my computer case): Anyone who knows me knows I love playing Sims. I don't have a lot of time to do this in my everyday life, so I totally take advantage of longer flights to get satisfy my Sims cravings.
12. My backpack (duh!): My grandparents got me this Kipling backpack when I graduated from high school. Seriously: invest in a nice backpack. I hate when people tell me to shell out a little more for something nice (I don't have $80 for a nice pair of boots! I only have $20 in my shopping budget– that's the problem!), but if you have the money, this is a great thing to invest in.
13. Journal: I went through 3 journals a year all through middle and high school. I've had a harder time keeping a journal in the last 5 years, but I know how beneficial it is for my mental health. Like reading, this is a great thing for me to do when I have the time and no distractions.
14. A pen: For journaling and other various writing needs.

Broke, Fabulous, & Traveling: Hue and Hoi An, Vietnam

Before reading this post, make sure you've read my first Vietnam Travel Diary. 

After spending the first couple days in Hanoi, we hopped on a flight down to Hue. 

We only spent one full day in Hue, but we made the most of the day by going to Hue's Imperial City. It was in the mid 90's all day, so had to make a couple coconut water stops.

Quick background: Vietnam started building the Imperial City in the 1300's. Since then, the buildings have been restored a number of times. The square used to house the emperor and extended members of the emperor's family.

We spent the most time touring the emperor's grandmother's and emperor's wife's mom's building. Every building had a very specific designated purpose.

The Perfume River passes through Hue. We had to cross it to get to the Imperial City, at which point I saw this rad dragon boat.

After our day in Hue, we took a bus (which had seats that fully reclined, AKA the dream) down to Hanoi. Along the way, we drove through the Marble Mountains (literally: part of the drive was a 15-minute tunnel). I caught this pic through the window of the bus.

Arguably the biggest attraction in Hanoi is the Ancient Town. If you follow me on Twitter, you know I took INSIDER Snapchat followers on a tour of the area. It used to be a port town and housed Japanese, Chinese, and Vietnamese families. During the day, these lanterns served as decoration. At night, they lit up the sky.

Thankfully, the weather cooled down a bit for the 3 days we were in Hanoi, thanks in part to 2 different rainstorms.

Hanoi is on the eastern coast of Vietnam. We got to go to the beach on one of our days in Hanoi. I was born and grew up on the Pacific Ocean. Every time I see it, I feel a little more at home.

Our last day in Hanoi, we rented scooters and drove around the area. We drove inland to see the rice paddies and back out to the coast to ride alongside the ocean for a while. A weird fact about me is that I have bad anxiety surrounding driving. That anxiety, as it turns out, applies to driving all motorized vehicles, not just cars. Luckily, my mom is a scooter riding champion and let me ride on the back of hers.

We ran into a bunch of cows on our trip, but this was the closest we got to them. As someone who was born in a county with more cows than people, this encounter was strangely comforting.

After spending 7 days in Vietnam, I'm already ready to get back out there and see more of the world... Once I save some more money, that is. While I'm saving, I figure I may as well start planning. I'm thinking somewhere in Central America. Any suggestions?

Broke, Fabulous, & Traveling: Hanoi, Vietnam

In case you're not following me on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, let me catch you up: I just got back from a week-long trip to Vietnam. My parents have been traveling around south-east Asia for five months and they flew all three of us out to see them at different points during their trip. My brother and his girlfriend met them in Thailand, while my sister and I went to Vietnam with them. Over the course of eight days, we went from Hanoi in the north down to Hue and Hoi An, then back up to Hanoi.

After 22 hours of travel, I arrived in Hanoi at 11 am on a Sunday. I hadn't seen my parents in five months (the second longest amount of time we've ever gone without seeing each other), but I'd hosted my sister the week before when she was in New York before catching her flight to Vietnam. We got right to exploring the part of the city we were staying in.

We were a couple blocks from Hoan Kiem Lake, so we spent a couple hours during our time in the city hanging out in the park and admiring the water. All the uninterrupted green was a stark contrast to the rest of the city. 

Hanoi as I saw it was composed of buildings that seemed to be built without regard for the rest of the street. There was little consistency in shape, size, and even color of these buildings. Some fit together like old jigsaw pieces: with awkward gaps in unexpected areas. Other buildings seemed to not even make an effort to fit with their neighbors. All of them, though, had plants dripping down their exteriors and laundry hanging out of windows.

My family takes pride in our travel style. We don't usually plan ahead too much (an approach that is different to how I take on every other aspect of my life), and instead spend our time learning the streets of our destination and trying to get a taste of daily life in this new environment. Sometimes that means going to museums or other travel destinations. Sometimes, like during our time in Hanoi, that means a lot of fairly aimless walking and stopping in at random coffee shops. I made sure to pack my most comfortable pair of shoes (surprisingly, a pair of sandals from H&M), and I wore them every day for 7 days.

When you spend a couple days (3, to be exact) walking around a part of a city, you get to truly experience everything that area has to offer. The sights (pictured in this post), smells (a lot of garbage, but I get that in New York, too), sounds (primarily honking from motorbikes and cars), tastes (Vietnamese coffee changed my life), and feel (humidity) of Hanoi are what define my time there.

One of the most interesting parts of the city that we ended up walking by was this giant, ornate church next to the lake. The French colonized Vietnam as part of a religious quest to "save" the world outside of Europe. This church stands as a reminder of that part of Vietnam's history and, I believe, still holds services for travelers and locals alike.

I grew up traveling with my family, but haven't had the chance to travel since going to college. A confession: for years, I've enviously watched as the people on my Facebook feed have taken amazing trips to really cool places across the world. I try to turn that energy into being proud of myself for focusing on a different goal– being financially independent while coping with a disability– but it's hard, and I often find myself jealous and disappointed in myself for not making my dreams of travel come true. It's hard to admit that I feel this way about not traveling at my age, but I'm working on being honest with myself and others, so I feel I have to say it.

I'm so incredibly grateful to my parents for flying me out and putting me up in Vietnam. My love of travel comes from my parents, who took my on my first flight when I was 13 days old, and it was beautiful to have them continue to fuel this love now that I'm an adult. I'm really lucky to have grown up with parents who value exploring the world. I wouldn't be who I am today without them.

Next week, I'll be sharing pictures and stories from the second part of my trip: Hue and Hoi An. Stay tuned!