OOTD: Pretty as a Peach

My little sister graduated from high school! Last weekend was filled with family events, seeing people I hadn't seen since I was in high school, and being asked what's next for me after I graduate in December. Bend weather is notoriously hard to predict, so I was glad it was sunny enough for me to be comfortable in the dress I brought for the occasion. This is one of my favorite recent purchases: it was $12.50 at Crossroads, the color is perfect for the summer (and to go with my hair), and I've always wanted a tulip wrap dress like this. I'm looking forward to wearing it for another, less momentous occasion.

21st Birthday

As you may have known (especially if you were following me on Instagram this last week), I turned 21 yesterday!

I've been a bit anxious about turning 21 the last couple months, just because everyone kept asking how crazy I was going to get to celebrate. I don't really drink and haven't ever enjoyed it. So, the idea of "getting crazy" is really unappealing. But do I tell people that, or do I humor them and nod and laugh?

For the most part, I found myself giving the same line every time: "Actually, my mom is coming up, and she might have higher expectations than me! I just want to have a glass of wine and be in bed by 10:30." Which, for the record, I was.

Still, I couldn't help but groan a little bit inside every time someone learned I was turning 21 and told me to "be safe" but "have a good time." I mean, is that really what this birthday is all about; alcohol? As someone who doesn't like to drink and has never been drunk, I've spent a lot of my life wondering why so much emphasis is placed on alcohol in society. Am I missing out on some seriously worthwhile part of life? Why don't I understand or experience the desire to drink?

I admit: I'm just as guilty as anyone at associating 21 with being legally able to drink. I've told people what I hate hearing on so many occasions, for some reason playing into the false sense of importance associated with alcohol in modern society. Turning 21 has taught me that, if I expect to be treated a certain way, I have to extend that courtesy to others.

For me, turning 21 was about much more than being able to drink. This last year has been extremely difficult, and more than anything, I'm just proud of myself for having made it through another year. So, for my birthday, I chose to focus on celebrating that.

The handmade "It Is Your Birthday" sign (which I made just with some paint samples and gold stickers) had some very special inspiration behind it.

Of course, the sign was really just an excuse to take pictures with my loves.

I was so lucky to be able to celebrate with a group of amazing young women who were more than content to let me have a glass of prosecco, eat cake, and listen to Melanie Martinez while sitting in a circle of awesome conversation. My 21st birthday, which I'd previously faced with a certain amount of anxiety, ended up being a really wonderful evening.

My mom and I ended the night at the Purple Cafe and Wine Bar downtown Seattle with two of my already-21 friends for a flight of champagne and some steak.

So, my 21st birthday ended up involving alcohol, but in a way I was very much comfortable with. 

OOTD: Blue Lace

Emily got this dress in Ireland and gifted it to me when she was going through her closet at the end of the year. The skater dress style is so Emily, but not something I have a lot of experience with. She owns, like, at least a dozen skater dresses, but this is my first. I wore it to see a local production of Avenue Q when I was in Bend over the summer. I particularly loved my makeup in this look.

National Suicide Prevention Week: Words of Wisdom

One of the hardest things I've had to figure out since being diagnosed with chronic depression five years ago is how to get through the rough times. I don't mean "rough times" as in times when I have five essays due, a midterm to cram for, job apps to submit, and a million other things to do. I mean "rough times" as in times when I cannot possibly get out of bed, let alone go to class or even feed myself properly. This is one of the hardest symptoms of depression for me. 

I figured out a long time ago, though, that these periods of debilitating hopelessness pass with enough time. I used to liken it to drowning in the shallow end of the ocean: eventually the tide will go out and I will be able to touch my feet to the bottom and keep my head consistently above the water. The hard part is waiting for that time to pass. One thing I've found that can help distract me during these periods is doing art.

My favorite form of art is painting. I used to exclusively use acrylics, but I recently rediscovered the box of Crayola watercolors we have leftover from our elementary school years. Sometimes I illustrate quotes, especially if I've found one that's especially fitting to the place I'm in. Given that it's National Suicide Prevention Week, I chose to illustrate a quote that I find particularly inspiring in rough times.

This quote is from the TV show Game of Thrones, an unlikely source for such non-ableist inspiration. Whenever I am worried that I am "too much to handle" or that I am a burden on those around me, I think of this quote. When I look around, most of the people I know don't need to be treated like a child the way I often need when I am suffering the most. I may need more at times than someone who is mentally healthy, but that doesn't mean that I don't deserve the help I need. Hearing this sentiment for the first time at 20 years old was revolutionary, and encouraged me to continue to ask for the help necessary to keeping me alive and (mostly) well. I hope that you read these words or share them with someone who needs to hear them the way I needed to.

I didn't like the colors in my first draft, so I decided to do it again!

I believe that this sentiment is an important contribution to the discussion of mental health. If this or any of my other blog posts on National Suicide Prevention Week have touched you, please join me in engaging in dialogue about mental health tomorrow, September 10, for National Suicide Prevention Day. I will be drawing on my wrists and sharing my story and the stories of others on social media tomorrow, and encourage you to do the same in whatever way you feel comfortable.

Celebrate in the City

It's almost impossible to forget my mom's birthday: January 23rd, or 1-2-3. This year my mom made a point of coming to Seattle with my dad and sister to celebrate, which was particularly exciting considering she'd also come up for my birthday in November. Having family in town means having an excuse to do super touristy things I probably wouldn't do on my own. I even went to the Space Needle for the first time!

Blue and green lights to support the Seahawks in their second Superbowl in a row! Everything in the city features either blue and green or some 12th man paraphernalia. 

My dad and sister are definitely the art buffs of the family, and spent at least an hour staring at this single painting. Meanwhile, my mom and I covered the entirety of the Seattle Art Museum in the same time it took for them to go through one exhibit.

The top of the Space Needle was even more photogenic than the Space Needle itself.

All we were missing for the perfect family weekend was my brother. There's always next trip!