OOTD: Setting Goals After School

Photos by Cassidy Hopkins

As long as I can remember, I've loved my to do list and planner.

It all started with those school-supplied agendas we got in elementary school. Ours always had messages about productivity to inspire us 10-year-olds to make sure we were getting as much done as possible, which, looking back, was a little weird.

I've spent years developing my personal organization system (you can skip down to the bottom if you're just here for the organization tips). I've experimented with all-paper systems (one of which required me to carry around 3 notebooks at all times) all-digital systems, and a mix of both.

As long as I've spent working on this system, I've always worked within the confines of the schedule assigned to me by my school. The benefit of being in school was that my life had built-in structures for my time. I had due dates for assignments and applications, and I always new what my next 5 steps looked like. Next quarter, I had to make sure to take the next stats section, and I needed to apply for internships by the end of the quarter.

Life post-grad is a completely different story. Sure, I receive due dates at work and I'm supposed to go to the dentist once a year, but my life is largely up to me to structure.

It's so easy to lean into this freedom, a freedom I have for the first time in 22 years. It's so easy to address problems only when they come up — to only go to the doctor when there's something wrong, only evaluate my career path when I need a new job, only think about my financial future when my bank account is running on empty.

Going with the flow and addressing problems as they come up is not by any means a wrong or bad way to live life. It simply isn't the way I choose to live. One of the most important things I realized in my 22nd year was that I have control over a number of things in my life. Making attainable long-term goals is an important way for me to exercise control over my own life.

This year, I'm experimenting with a system of setting measurable goals and less-quantifiable intentions, both short-term and long-term. I've broken my goals and intentions into 4 sections: yearly, quarterly, monthly, and weekly/daily.

Before I describe how I utilize this system, I want to explain what I mean when I say "goals" and "intentions," because I am not using these words interchangeably. Good goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. As one of my professors once put it, good goals are SMART. I like to use the word "intentions" when talking about the kind of person I want to be and the kind of daily habits I want to form. "Be healthier" is an intention, then, while "run a marathon" is a goal.

The first list I started on was my yearly list. I talk about my intentions continuously with my social support system and in therapy. This year, I want to work on not shying away from necessary confrontation and finding enjoyment in things without having to be good at them.

Going into this year, I had a couple goals for my future that I think I could realistically achieve this year. Among them are moving ahead in my career, visiting a couple friends, and setting up a health network for myself in New York.

From here, I can break down my goals into bite-size pieces to achieve throughout the year. My quarterly goals to help me on my way to moving ahead at work are to introduce a new kind of content to my platform and analyze our top-performing videos. One of my monthly goals for the month of January was to schedule appointments with a dentist and a dermatologist.

I break these goals down even further in my daily/weekly to do list. Last week, I knew I'd have some free time on Friday, so I gave myself the task of putting together a presentation outlining the kind of content I'm proposing for the reference of my team.

I'm hoping that instituting this system will help me get organized enough to be able to accomplish what I want to do in life. I'm finding it hard to set goals for myself when others aren't setting goals for me (take these classes, find a job, complete this assignment, etc). I'm nervous, but I'm also excited to spend this year and the rest of my life figuring out what I want to do and figuring out how to do it.

This top was provided by Top Tier Style. 

OOTD: On Growth

*TW* Depression, anxiety, and other themes of mental health.

Last week, my therapist told me that the goal of life isn't to be perfect: it's to grow. This makes sense, and it isn't the first time I've heard it. No one can be perfect, and denying this makes making progress harder. It's hard to work when your goal is objectively unattainable. At the same time, though, this statement hit a little too hard. I've spent my whole life trying to be the best. What am I supposed to work towards if not perfection?

Dealing with depression and anxiety as an analytical person is interesting, because my emotion and reasonable mind are both regularly functioning on high and are often in conflict with each other. My emotion mind screams that I cannot possibly solve any given problem, and that there's no point in even trying because I was miserable before this problem arose and I'll likely be miserable even if I solve the problem. My reasonable mind overcompensates, telling me that I can solve every single issue I'm faced with, so long as I do everything right.

This is how I've tried to address everything in my life for as long as I can remember. Doing everything right, though, is exhausting. Sure, I'm taking good care of myself – I see my therapist weekly, my general practitioner regularly, I get in 30 minutes of exercise a day, I've cut back on sugars and added vegetables to my daily diet, I stretch every day, and I walk around with the most pertinent pages of my DBT handbook to deal with emergencies. But good is not perfection. I don't eat enough potassium, I could exercise more strenuously, I could eat plain oatmeal instead of adding brown sugar, I spend too much time in bed, and the other day, someone told me that I should go gluten-free if I wanted my depressive symptoms to ease up. In my mind, then, it doesn't matter that I'm doing better than I was a couple years ago: I'm not "cured" because I'm still not doing everything right.

And that's just to mention the things I know about that I could be doing better. Another key part of solving problems is being armed with knowledge. I am a firm believer that the more you know, the better you can do. I mean, I have a degree in psychology partially because I wanted to know everything about how to make myself "better" after being diagnosed with depression at age 15. Knowledge is a valuable power, but it's not the only power out there. 

After all, no one can know everything. Neither can you act on everything, as so much of what humanity knows is conflicting. So, striving toward knowing everything and behaving perfectly is inherently a doomed mission, certain only to create failure and self-doubt.

By no measure do I consider myself near perfection. I'm simply so obsessed with obtaining perfection in every aspect of my life that the growth I have made seems embarrassing when compared to my goal. I am so obsessed with obtaining perfection that, no matter what I do, I find myself trying to figure out how I could have done better, and how I'll do better next time. I am committed to growing and becoming a better person, more than I am committed to anything in life. Part of being a better person, I think, means being realistic and accepting of one's flaws and missteps. Plus, over-analyzing everything I do takes time away from actually living life. 

I'm not sure how to end this blog post because I'm still trying to figure out what I'm working towards if I'm not working to be the best. So, I'll end by saying that I've been waiting since the spring to wear this outfit with my denim jacket for the blog. It's the middle of October, but on the day my friend Sydney took photos of me, it was still too hot for a jacket. I'm going to post these pictures without thinking of how I should have worn this outfit another day or powered through and worn the jacket anyways. 

OOTD: A Little Versatility

Photography by Cassidy Hopkins

Everyone needs a dress they can wear for every occasion. I especially find this true as someone with a limited budget and closet space. Most of what I own is versatile so that I get the most bang for my buck. It doesn't make sense for me to spend money on something I'll only be able to wear a couple days a year when I could use that same money on something I could wear whenever I want.

Although I can wear most of my closet for most occasions, this dress especially stands out as something I can wear whenever. I've worn it to graduation parties, on several dates, to work, and now to Coney Island. It's simultaneously appropriate enough for a professional environment and cute enough to wear just for fun.

The most important thing to look for when shopping to create a versatile closet is whether or not you like the piece. No matter how sophisticated or professional you think a piece is, if you don't like it, you won't wear it. Having items in your closet that you don't wear is just a waste of money and space, both of which are valuable commodities. I, for instance, was drawn to this dress because of the color and fabric. I'd been looking for a white lace dress for months, and this dress fit that description.

Once you've found something that you like, try it on and make sure it's appropriate for a work environment. My workplace has very lax dress code, but I still like to make sure I own some things that cover me for less casual professional occasions. The lace of this dress is an entirely separate layer from the solid piece underneath, so I can wear it with a different white slip that is longer and has a higher neck.

Comfort is really key in picking easy-to-wear pieces. No matter how cute or professional something is, if it's uncomfortable or painful in any way, you're less likely to pull it out of your closet in the morning. When you're trying something on, walk around and sit down to see if anything rides up or itches or anything. Those extra 2 minutes you spend in the dressing room could save you hours of earned money.

One thing to keep in mind as you shop is whether or not the pieces you're picking out go with each other. My closet has a strong black/white/pastel/olive green color scheme. This white dress fits perfectly into that color scheme, so I can wear it with a lot of other items that I already own. Because it's so easy to make an outfit with this piece, I'm more likely to wear it more often. Of course, there's always room for stand-out pieces, but your whole closet can't be made out of pieces that don't go together if you're on a budget.

How do you shop if you're on a budget with limited closet space? Comment below to let me know; I'm always looking for ways to maximize my wardrobe!

OOTD: Spring Layers

Before I moved here, I was so excited for spring in NYC. Blossoming trees and flowers! Walking my dog through Central Park! Finally putting my winter coats away! Spoiler alert: spring in NYC doesn't exist. It's nearly May and there have been a grand total of 7 nice days so far in 2017. I even had to drag one of my winter coats out last week. It was incredibly soul-crushing.

This spring, I've been relying on layers almost every day. This outfit has a grand total of 4 layers, not including the sweater I packed in my sister's backpack. The trickiest part about layering is doing it without all the wrinkles and bulges. My trick there is to layer thin, relatively well-fitting pieces. You'll still get a little bit of a bulge where everything meets, but it's not so bad.

OOTD: Wait For It

Tan cutout zip-up sandals - DIY high waisted light wash distressed denim from H&M - powder blue ruffle bell sleeve top - red bandana from Old Navy - silver and turquoise chandelier earrings from Forever 21 - DIY gemstone sunglasses

I can't tell you how excited I am about this outfit. Two of the items I'm wearing are actually brand new, and I've been wanting to buy them for what feels like forever. I recently mentioned that I've been looking for the perfect bell sleeve top for nearly a year, and I finally found it! Whenever I identify a specific trend I want to own, I go on Poshmark and save my favorite pieces to buy whenever I have the money. I've had this top on my saved items for a couple months and was waiting for them to restock in my size. They happened to restock toward the end of my fiscal quarter when I had a surplus in my shopping budget (I'm as surprised as you), so I pounced. I've also been looking for a cute bandana to wear this spring. I pass by the Old Navy window display every day on my way to and from work, and I've seen this exact bandana on the mannequins for weeks now. After continuing to pine after it, I decided to go in one day and buy it.

There are so many different approaches to shopping to create the perfect wardrobe. One of my biggest pieces of advice is to wait for the perfect piece when you're looking for something specific. I knew exactly what I wanted in a bell sleeve top and bandana, so I waited until I found just that. I found a couple similar items earlier on in my search that would have been more convenient to buy, but I'm so glad I decided to wait until I found exactly what I was looking for. I don't have any regrets and haven't found myself actively shopping for a better version of this piece, which I do when I buy something that I like but that I don't love.

This method isn't always necessary. These shoes, for instance, were a cheap pair of sandals that I bought when I needed a pair of sandals simply because it was a convenient purchase. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, so it didn't matter whether or not I waited to find just what I was looking for. In the case of this top and this bandana, though, I'm glad I waited.

OOTD: Spring Pastels for Cold Weather

Blush pink perspex booties - white wrap dress - pink lace-up H&M bodysuit - blue Forever 21 peacoat 

As I'm writing this, it's March 26th, and there's still snow on the ground. Granted, it's just a couple little patches in shady parts of the sidewalk, but still. It's been spring for a week and I'm ready for the weather to start reflecting that.

I've been waiting for warmer weather to be able to wear this dress as I don't think it would look good with tights. It's still tights weather, with the exception of the rare 65 F day every couple weeks, but I got fed up of waiting to wear something I've wanted to wear for months. I had to maneuver my wardrobe a little to be warm enough without having to wear tights. I initially felt a little weird about wearing this long-sleeve bodysuit under my dress, but after wearing a dress over jeans, I decided dresses should be worn with anything and everything. Since pastels are the official unofficial hues of spring, I decided to pair this baby blue coat with these blush booties. Plus, these colors were the Pantone colors of the year last year, so I already knew they go well together.

Moral of the story? You can totally wear spring colors even though the weather isn't quite spring-y yet. Just get creative with your layering game.