OOTD: What I'm Not Thankful For

I am thankful for so much. I am also pointedly not thankful for some of the things in my life.
Whenever I'm confronted with something inconvenient or difficult for me, my initial reaction is to be bitter and/or feel sorry for myself. Unfortunately, neither of those emotions help me or the situation.
It's important to acknowledge and validate my initial emotional reactions, but I don't need to give them any more power than they deserve. This is easier said than done, but it's true nonetheless.

My parents always told me that if I don't like something, instead of moping or whining about it, I should change it. Problem-solving is a useful tool to use when confronted with something that makes life more difficult, but it's not the only tool. Accepting that which you do not like is important both in situations when you can make a change and when you can't. 

When you can change what you don't like in your life, acceptance is the first step to acknowledging something is off in your life. From there, you can truly address the problem head-on.
When you can't change what you don't like in your life or the changes you can make are slow to take effect, acceptance can help you go through life without being bogged down.

When my therapist first started talking to me about acceptance, I had a hard time accepting (lol) this as a method for dealing with things that make my life harder. For one, it sounds like it means you have to invalidate your emotions. For another, it sounds a lot like giving up.
True acceptance is neither invalidating nor giving up. Society often preaches ignorance disguised as acceptance, but that is not true acceptance. True acceptance does not mean ignoring your feelings or the problem. It means openly acknowledging and validating your feelings, being honest about the problem, and accepting the reality of the situation. From there, you can start to live without being weighed down by the misery of a problem you can neither solve nor, in your mind, live with.

This was supposed to be my Thanksgiving week post. The Monday before Thanksgiving, however, I was put into a really difficult situation with the lease on my apartment. What it boiled down to was that I would need to move out the week of December 1st, a full month before I was expecting to have to move out. I'd been leisurely looking for roommates and apartments under the impression that I had until the end of my lease at the end of December, but I hadn't even so much as arranged to meet anyone or see anything yet. I felt scared, angry, and hopeless at the prospect of having to move out in 12 days without anywhere to go.

Luckily, this was a difficult situation I could change. I could (and did) look at a number of apartments before the real estate offices closed for Thanksgiving. I could (and did) arrange a fall-back option if I couldn't find a place to sign a lease. But before I could do any of those things, I had to stop wasting all my energy by thinking about how I didn't want to leave my apartment, how I wasn't ready to look for places, that I was scared I wouldn't have enough time to find the right place or the right roommates, that I was angry I had to do any of this in the first place. I had to accept the situation I was in so I had the energy and mindset to be able to find myself (and Luxe) a place to live. Even though I didn't want to, I had to move, and I had to move soon. Accepting that made it so much easier for me to look for a place in a time crunch and start packing up to move with so little time.

Acceptance is a tool I'm still working on. However, it's something I feel content to put the energy into, because it's a tool that really helps me so often.

This belt was provided by Top Tier Style. If you would like to purchase your own, use the coupon code BLOG15 for 15% OFF everything on their store!

OOTD: Self-Expression Through Style

One of my favorite parts about my job is being a member of the INSIDER Spirit Squad. Every 2 weeks, my office dresses according to a particular theme. We take a group photo and give awards to those who best embodied the day's theme. The Spirit Squad takes the office's suggestions for themes and organizes when and what each theme day will be. I actually wore this jacket for our 2nd theme day – Millennial Pink Day (a theme which was chosen based on an article I wrote a while back).

A couple weeks ago, the Spirit Squad was talking about what it means to best embody a theme, and the concept of the definition of style came up. Kyle, another Spirit Squad member and the person behind the camera for the photos in this post, said that fashion is about trends, while style is about wearing things in new and unexpected ways. This definition places emphasis on how something is being worn as opposed to what is being worn. Josie said that one's sense of style depends on wearing what makes them feel best. Personal style, then, could prioritize fashion trends, comfort, making a statement, emanating a particular persona, etc.

I've always regarded style as a form of self-expression, while fashion refers to the industry which chooses and advertises trends each season. That's why I consider myself a "style blogger" instead of a "fashion blogger". My definition of style, then, is a mix between Kyle and Josie's definitions.

For me, self-expression entails a number of different things. First and foremost, dressing to express myself means dressing to show the world who I am. I'm creative, thoughtful, intelligent, and witty. My creativity shows in the unique pieces and combinations I wear. I'm thoughtful in how I put together my outfits, paying attention to detail and dressing appropriately for the weather and whatever environment I'm going to be in. I like to be smart about what I wear, keeping in mind where my clothes and favorite fashion trends come from. I often throw a little bit of whimsy into my outfits, like the dog socks I'm wearing under these boots.

Self-expression also means wearing things that say something about me. This jacket is an obvious example, as it displays my blog name in my own handwriting. You can't tell in these photos, but I'm also wearing a necklace with a scorpion on it, because I'm a Scorpio. Pink is my favorite color, so I wore an outfit composed almost entirely of it. 

While I don't prioritize following trends by any means, I do like being inspired by what's "in" in fashion, and choosing to wear trends that I like outside of their importance in fashion. This slip dress, for example, is a huge street style trend right now. When I saw shots of celebrities walking around in slip dresses, I remembered being in middle school and finding a silk slip (like, the kind you wear under a dress) in a box of hand-me-downs. I tried it on and modeled it for my mom, declaring that I wanted to wear this dress to my Bat Mitzvah. I genuinely don't remember if my mom was horrified or amused, but I can tell you I wore a real dress to synagogue for my Bat Mitzvah. So, learning that this was now an appropriate style to wear in public inspired me to purchase a slip dress for myself.

Comfort and aesthetics play a huge role in my sense of style. I love this shirt because I can wear it without a bra. Wearing a bra always makes me just a little more uncomfortable, whether due to the underwire or the straps. This dress kind of feels like wearing nothing, an ideal bodily sensation. I've been big on leather (well, faux leather) jackets since high school. I couldn't tell you what it is I like about them, but I find them aesthetically pleasing enough to have 2 of them. I've already mentioned that pink is my favorite color, so I've been figuring out how to wear pink since before millennial pink became a ~thing~. 

Finally, I'd be lying if I said my style was completely unique to me, uninspired by others. I've wanted a personalized jacket with my blog name on it since seeing Payton of Hustle + Halcyon and Dani of Mermaid Waves rock theirs. I had originally intended to embroider a denim jacket with Broke & Fabulous, but I have much more experience painting, and this jacket is just such a perfect representation of my blog.

How do you find and define your sense of style? Comment below to let me know!

OOTD: In Praise of the Outfit Repeater

Photography by Cassidy Hopkins

Alright, let's be real: who among us has NOT re-worn their favorite outfit (or outfits)? After all, if you love something, why not indulge in it more than once? That's how I feel about these striped pants and white crop top.

Maybe it's just that "The Lizzie McGuire Movie" had a huge effect on my childhood, but I've long operated under the assumption that wearing an outfit (or even a special piece) more than once is ~against the rules~.

This moment shaped my approach toward fashion more than I care to admit.

For the most part, striving to not re-wear the same outfit pushes me to be creative with my wardrobe. I love mixing and matching everything I own to create something new every day. There are, however, a number of reasons to re-wear your favorite outfit.

Sometimes, you buy a piece that only goes with one other thing in your closet. As you might imagine, these pants are a bit tricky to match with. Not only is the pattern a little daunting, but the thin fabric makes it hard to tuck a shirt into them, a trick I rely heavily upon. This shirt is one of the only things I own that works well with these pants.

I also tend to outfit repeat when I know I'm going to be seen by different people each time I wear the outfit. I wore this outfit first to work, then on a weekend outing with friends, and finally on a casual date. Each time I wore the outfit, someone was seeing it for the first time. In their eyes, I wasn't really outfit repeating.

Finally (and this is the most important argument in my case for outfit repeating), you should re-wear an outfit if and whenever you damn well please. Do you like the outfit? Yes? Great, then wear it as often as you'd like. Clothing serves a number of functions: to express ourselves, to cover our naked bodies, to signal belonging to a specific social group, etc. The most important function clothing serves is to please ourselves. If you like it, wear it. If you really like it, keep wearing it.

Someone recently told me about a coworker of theirs who, in an experiment to test peoples' awareness, wore the same outfit every day for a week. By the end of the week, they were still receiving compliments from the rest of the office, even though theoretically they'd seen the dress every day for five days. People are generally too unobservant to care that you've worn the same outfit multiple times, or even multiple days in a row. Just wear whatever makes you feel your best.

OOTD: Wardrobe Malfunction

So, a funny thing happened when I went to put on this skirt to meet my friends in Soho the other day: the pull on the zipper burst off. Most of my skirts are too big for me anyways, so I knew I'd have to use a safety pin to make this skirt fit. Instead, I had to use it to actually keep my skirt together. 

Do you see where the skirt overlaps? Yeah, that's where the safety pin is.

As I've already mentioned, I have to use safety pins on most of my skirts because I simply can't afford to replace everything I own that's too big for me. I've had to get pretty creative about wearing all the clothing I own that doesn't fit, is broken, or is stained. I rock a lot of belts, layers, and, of course, safety pins. I recently used a twist tie that came on some cotton candy to fix a necklace that'd broken in the middle of the day. 

That's all part of the Broke & Fabulous lifestyle: making it work. In addition to reselling my clothing to fund new additions to my closet, I also continue to wear things past their expiration date. I don't even try to hide it that well all the time. I used to really worry about it, but I've realized that people don't look as closely at you as you worry that they do. Even when they do, what does their opinion matter? I'm just living my best life, and using the money I would have used to replace this skirt to fund a trip or to pay off my student loans.

It's not just economical: it's also more environmentally conscious. The average American throws away dozens of pounds of textiles, including clothing, every year. This makes fashion one of the most wasteful and polluting industries in the world. Even though most of this waste and pollution comes from the textile factories themselves, individuals can do their part in not contributing to this issue by not throwing away still-usable clothing. I mean, look how cute this skirt still looks!

OOTD: A Little Versatility

Photography by Cassidy Hopkins

Everyone needs a dress they can wear for every occasion. I especially find this true as someone with a limited budget and closet space. Most of what I own is versatile so that I get the most bang for my buck. It doesn't make sense for me to spend money on something I'll only be able to wear a couple days a year when I could use that same money on something I could wear whenever I want.

Although I can wear most of my closet for most occasions, this dress especially stands out as something I can wear whenever. I've worn it to graduation parties, on several dates, to work, and now to Coney Island. It's simultaneously appropriate enough for a professional environment and cute enough to wear just for fun.

The most important thing to look for when shopping to create a versatile closet is whether or not you like the piece. No matter how sophisticated or professional you think a piece is, if you don't like it, you won't wear it. Having items in your closet that you don't wear is just a waste of money and space, both of which are valuable commodities. I, for instance, was drawn to this dress because of the color and fabric. I'd been looking for a white lace dress for months, and this dress fit that description.

Once you've found something that you like, try it on and make sure it's appropriate for a work environment. My workplace has very lax dress code, but I still like to make sure I own some things that cover me for less casual professional occasions. The lace of this dress is an entirely separate layer from the solid piece underneath, so I can wear it with a different white slip that is longer and has a higher neck.

Comfort is really key in picking easy-to-wear pieces. No matter how cute or professional something is, if it's uncomfortable or painful in any way, you're less likely to pull it out of your closet in the morning. When you're trying something on, walk around and sit down to see if anything rides up or itches or anything. Those extra 2 minutes you spend in the dressing room could save you hours of earned money.

One thing to keep in mind as you shop is whether or not the pieces you're picking out go with each other. My closet has a strong black/white/pastel/olive green color scheme. This white dress fits perfectly into that color scheme, so I can wear it with a lot of other items that I already own. Because it's so easy to make an outfit with this piece, I'm more likely to wear it more often. Of course, there's always room for stand-out pieces, but your whole closet can't be made out of pieces that don't go together if you're on a budget.

How do you shop if you're on a budget with limited closet space? Comment below to let me know; I'm always looking for ways to maximize my wardrobe!

OOTD: Grad Announcements

So, I know I already graduated... But I'm back for more. My college only has one commencement ceremony a year, so I'm headed back to Seattle in June to walk with the rest of my class. I already have my diploma and an internship, so I'm feeling pretty good for someone who doesn't walk the stage for another month.

Seeing as I'm not in Seattle, throwing together photos for my grad announcements took a little more effort. My cap and gown are waiting for me in Seattle, so I borrowed my friend Corina's for the weekend. I wouldn't be able to take pictures on campus, so I leaned into my status as a New York resident. You can see the Manhattan skyline from my roof (including the Empire State Building), so I took my pictures up there to highlight where I'm at right now.

Of COURSE Luxe got in on my graduation shoot! She accompanied me to all of my classes sophomore-junior year, so she's pretty much an honorary graduate.

ConGRADulations to all my fellow graduates from the class of 2017!