OOTD: What I'm Not Thankful For

I am thankful for so much. I am also pointedly not thankful for some of the things in my life.
Whenever I'm confronted with something inconvenient or difficult for me, my initial reaction is to be bitter and/or feel sorry for myself. Unfortunately, neither of those emotions help me or the situation.
It's important to acknowledge and validate my initial emotional reactions, but I don't need to give them any more power than they deserve. This is easier said than done, but it's true nonetheless.

My parents always told me that if I don't like something, instead of moping or whining about it, I should change it. Problem-solving is a useful tool to use when confronted with something that makes life more difficult, but it's not the only tool. Accepting that which you do not like is important both in situations when you can make a change and when you can't. 

When you can change what you don't like in your life, acceptance is the first step to acknowledging something is off in your life. From there, you can truly address the problem head-on.
When you can't change what you don't like in your life or the changes you can make are slow to take effect, acceptance can help you go through life without being bogged down.

When my therapist first started talking to me about acceptance, I had a hard time accepting (lol) this as a method for dealing with things that make my life harder. For one, it sounds like it means you have to invalidate your emotions. For another, it sounds a lot like giving up.
True acceptance is neither invalidating nor giving up. Society often preaches ignorance disguised as acceptance, but that is not true acceptance. True acceptance does not mean ignoring your feelings or the problem. It means openly acknowledging and validating your feelings, being honest about the problem, and accepting the reality of the situation. From there, you can start to live without being weighed down by the misery of a problem you can neither solve nor, in your mind, live with.

This was supposed to be my Thanksgiving week post. The Monday before Thanksgiving, however, I was put into a really difficult situation with the lease on my apartment. What it boiled down to was that I would need to move out the week of December 1st, a full month before I was expecting to have to move out. I'd been leisurely looking for roommates and apartments under the impression that I had until the end of my lease at the end of December, but I hadn't even so much as arranged to meet anyone or see anything yet. I felt scared, angry, and hopeless at the prospect of having to move out in 12 days without anywhere to go.

Luckily, this was a difficult situation I could change. I could (and did) look at a number of apartments before the real estate offices closed for Thanksgiving. I could (and did) arrange a fall-back option if I couldn't find a place to sign a lease. But before I could do any of those things, I had to stop wasting all my energy by thinking about how I didn't want to leave my apartment, how I wasn't ready to look for places, that I was scared I wouldn't have enough time to find the right place or the right roommates, that I was angry I had to do any of this in the first place. I had to accept the situation I was in so I had the energy and mindset to be able to find myself (and Luxe) a place to live. Even though I didn't want to, I had to move, and I had to move soon. Accepting that made it so much easier for me to look for a place in a time crunch and start packing up to move with so little time.

Acceptance is a tool I'm still working on. However, it's something I feel content to put the energy into, because it's a tool that really helps me so often.

This belt was provided by Top Tier Style. If you would like to purchase your own, use the coupon code BLOG15 for 15% OFF everything on their store!

Halloween 2017: Coraline and The Cat

Another Halloween, another hair color to take advantage of when deciding upon a costume. I started crowdsourcing blue-haired characters and costume ideas in August. I had 2 requirements in addition to the incorporation of the blue hair color: it had to have a position for my pup and it had to be DIY-able.

People gave me all sorts of ideas: Joy from "Inside Out" (one of my favorite movies), Hades from "Hercules", outer space, the ocean, etc. I thought about going as Helena St. Tessero from "Neo Yokio" because, not only do we both have blue hair, but we're both fashion bloggers who've lost interest and faith in the fashion industry. But I chose Coraline because the costume was the easiest to make for both me and my dog.

I've been DIY-ing my costumes since I was little (well, my mom was doing all the work before my fine motor movements fully developed, but everything was still homemade). I'm on a fixed budget and never want to ruin it by spending money on something I'm only going to wear once for a photo. Plus, I don't ever go out on Halloween, so the costume would literally only be purchased for the photo.

This costume was super easy because I already owned the pointy-toed blue boots and dark-wash jeans. All I needed was a star-print sweater and a dragonfly clip. I thought about buying them, but I knew I wouldn't ever wear the sweater or the clip again, and decided I'd rather spend the money on new books.

I made the sweater by cutting out stars from a huge swath of white fabric I have that I use for embroidery and tacking them onto a fuzzy sweater I already owned. I made the clip by painting a dragonfly onto the same fabric and gluing it on a bobby pin.

And voilá! A "Coraline" Halloween! I think my pup was the happiest with this costume because it didn't require her to wear socks or a jacket like she's had to wear in previous years' costumes.

OOTD: Walls of Williamsburg

Even though I've lived in Brooklyn for four months, I haven't explored a lot of the borough. Sure, I've hung out in Bed-Stuy quite a bit, but I've rarely ventured outside of my beloved C train route. So, this last weekend, my friend Claire and I headed over to Williamsburg to see what the fuss was about.

Really quickly, can we talk about how it's literally MAY and I'm still wearing leggings and sweaters?? Frankly, I'd be disgusted if I hadn't already been sunburnt on the one nice day we've had in NYC this month.

This outfit is one of my go-to looks for work: a pair of leggings (these liquid leather leggings are so comfortable but still stylish af), my favorite XL collared tunic, and a sweater to top it all off. The look is business casual with an extra emphasis on the casual, and comfortable enough to wear when I'm feeling tired or sick.

OOTD: Walk to Work

Black Steve Madden Chelsea boots - White palazzo pants - Black Forever 21 ribbed sweater - Black Banana Republic peacoat - Black Forever 21 tote bag - Olive green scarf 

Surprisingly, I don't actually mind my 50 minute commute to work. I spend my time on the train listening to podcasts (if anyone has any recommendations for psychology podcasts, please let me know!), which is a great way for me to wake up. My favorite part of my commute, though, is the 4 blocks I walk every day on my way from the subway station to my office. Twice a day every day, I get to walk through the middle of the greatest city on the world. I am inspired every single day by the outfits of those walking around me, the architecture of the buildings looming above me, and the general hustle of the city. I love working in Manhattan.
I'm not new to the business casual dress code. In fact, I kind of pride myself on being able to dress myself stylishly and appropriately. Dressing for work in Manhattan is a little bit of a different story, though. I'm out of the house for 11 hours a day, so I have to be comfortable. Plus, it's FREEZING in Manhattan right now, so I have to be cute, comfortable, professional, and warm. Luckily, I have a closet full of coats and I've been stocking up on comfy business attire, so I'm feeling pretty good. I do wear a lot of the same items to work, but that's part of being broke.

OOTD: Little House in the City

This outfit is big for me in a number of ways. First of all, I'm not known for wearing so many light colors in one look. Second of all, I'm wearing several very special items from some very special people in my life. I bought myself this Star of David nose ring after searching for one since I was sixteen. This necklace was a gift from a good friend of mine, and it contains dried wildflowers from the camp she worked at this summer. The belt was my grandma's– she was so petite that it only barely fits me when I wear it to cinch my waist. I love wearing items that not only look beautiful, but that remind me of the beautiful people I have in my life.

OOTD: Black & Blue

Shoes: Sam Edelman
Skirt: Similar from Lulu*s
Shirt: Similar from Avenle
Sweater: Similar from Mango
Necklace: Target

As much as I love layering, I must admit: it can be pretty difficult to create a cute outfit that looks cute with or without every item of clothing on. I've come to the conclusion that a cute layered look inherently cannot be low-maintenance. Taking off this sweater took some skill to avoid ruining my hair or button-up underneath, and putting it back on required me to stand in front of a mirror for at least a minute. If I had to lose a couple minutes of my day to look cute, I'd say the sacrifice was worth it.

Holiday Wear Inspiration

'Tis the season for holiday celebrations, and the monotonous Instagram and Facebook pictures that come along with any excuse to dress up. If you're looking to set yourself apart from the rest of the formal holiday crowd, check out these tips to rework your holiday attire.

Black is the perfect color for an evening dress. Take your look one step further by adding some serious texture with lace all-over or even some well-placed lace overlay.

Sparkles for the new year are, well, so last year. Dress in one of the sultriest colors and you'll stand out even more from the crowd!

There are so many nights of Hanukkah (happy 2nd night, by the way!) that it's hard to dress up for all 8. Go a little more casual with a full high-waisted navy skirt. Dress it up or down, depending on the formality of your family.

Green is a classic Christmas color, which is nifty as this emerald green is simply perfect for winter. Don't just go with a silky green dress: step out of your comfort zone and dress up silk trousers or a silk top.

Sure: as a Jew, I don't know a lot about Christmas. But from the minimal experience I have had with the holiday, I know that a lot of the day is just lounging around with family. Stay comfortable but ready for pictures in a magnificent oversized sweater dress.

What to Wear for Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays of the year, but I have to admit, I love dressing for every holiday regardless of which one it is. Thanksgiving is especially fun to dress for because you're not trying to impress anyone but yourself, and maybe a couple relatives that don't exactly understand the direction you're life is going in. So, take this opportunity to dress up in your dream fall outfit and receive loving compliments from your parents (even if the outfit might not end up looking like a dream).

Belted scarf/sweater combo

Chambray and midi a-line skirt

Wool skirt and sweater

Yellow turtleneck