My Story

Yesterday, I shared the story of my mental health history in the following Instagram:

Today is #nationalsuicidepreventionday. I want to join the dialogue on mental health by sharing my story 🌟 I was 15 when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The last five+ years have seen a flurry of therapists, psychiatrists, doctors, hospitals, prescription medication, and a blind search for something that would cure me of the terrors that plague me every single moment of my life. I have not yet found a cure. In fact, I've only managed to get progressively worse. After losing more than a quarter of my life to what is now recognized as chronic depression and anxiety, I'm trying to accept that this is something that I will struggle with the rest of my life. However, I still consider myself beyond lucky to be in a position where I can constantly take advantage of the treatments that are available. It kills me that there are others in my situation who can't even get the help they need. I hope that by sharing my story and moving to destroy the taboo surrounding mental health, people will see that it's ok to ask for help. I hope that opening the dialogue on mental health will create a demand and response for efficient and affordable mental health care across the world. Please do not be afraid to talk about what you have gone through. Join me in the discussion of mental health and help me see these hopes become a reality. #worldsuicidepreventionday

A photo posted by Hannah Goldstein (@thehannahgold) on Sep 10, 2015 at 5:24pm PDT

This experience was, in a word, terrifying. I wish I could tell you some inspiring story about how I worked up the courage to bare my soul to the world for the benefit of contributing to the dialogue on mental health in modern society, but that just wasn't the case. Over the years, I've developed a large number of coping strategies for dealing with anxiety and stressful situations. One of these coping strategies is straight up ignoring the situation I'm in. So, that's how I found myself able to be so vulnerable on the internet.

I'm still pretty nervous about having shared this thing that I tried so hard to keep hidden for so long. It's particularly nerve-wracking thinking about everyone who's read it. Sure, that was what I expected when I shared this on Facebook and Instagram, but it's still weird to think about. I'm friends with everyone on Facebook: my extended family, friends of my mom, my boyfriend's family, the popular kids from high school, people I've been in professional meetings with, etc.. To think that any of these people may have read such a personal story makes me really anxious, but the positive reinforcement I got from sharing my story makes me think the anxiety might be worth it.

It's strange to think that exactly a year ago, I was reading the Survival Stories on Life Ain't Easy But It's Worth It and thinking that I could never speak so honestly about my demons the way these inspiring young women did. Their stories inspired me to keep going and stay strong, even in the face of severe hardships. Maybe my story will do the same for someone else.

A Week Without Makeup

I've recently read a couple articles citing Audre Lorde and bell hooks to argue that makeup can never be considered feminist. As a big believer that makeup can be extremely empowering to women, I found this interesting. The basic argument is this: wearing makeup, whether it's to please yourself or to please the public, cannot let you reclaim your body and your beauty as it is still playing into ideals of beauty established in a patriarchal society. I am not going to get into my personal opinion on this argument as this is neither the place nor the time, but these articles did get me thinking about whether or not I could go without wearing makeup.
I don't wear makeup everyday. This isn't a statement or anything. In all honesty, it's just because I'm kind of lazy. However, I do love a good bold lip color and some mascara to make my fine eyelashes a little more proportional. So, I challenged myself to go a full week without makeup of any kind. No tinted lip balm, no concealer, no eye brightener, nothing. I photographed myself each day and wrote a little reflection on how I'd felt that day. I didn't find anything revolutionary in the process, but some of what I found did surprise me.

{photo via Carissa Gallo}

Monday: This is already kind of hard; I wanted to wear lipstick today! I felt kind of self-conscious in situations when I felt under-dressed.

Tuesday: I actually had extra time in my morning routine, so I caught up on some reading instead of spending that time to do my makeup. I felt self-conscious today and didn't want to look at my reflection in the mirror.

Wednesday: I had a bit of a late start, so I felt comfortable going makeup-less because I wouldn't have had time anyways. I've been spending a couple extra minutes on my hair in the mornings. I just want to feel presentable!

Thursday: I wonder if anyone else notices I'm not wearing makeup. My eyes feel tired and I'm worried it shows.

Friday: I used to think I only used makeup to add to my look (i.e. with statement lipstick and winged eyeliner), but I'm starting to figure out a lot of my makeup routine actually focuses on hiding what I'm self-conscious of. Some days I'm particularly self-conscious of my stubby eyelashes, my too-small eyes, and my undefined lips. Wearing makeup really can make me feel better about my appearance sometimes.

Saturday: I didn't recognize myself in the mirror today. I guess I need some of the enhancements of makeup to feel like myself. That seems like a bit of a slippery slope to me. I feel like I need longer eyelashes, bigger lips, bigger eyes, and smoother skin to feel the most comfortable in my own skin. But the more women like me rely on things like serums and extensions and makeup, the more the unrealistic standard of beauty in society is enforced. I don't want my daughter to feel like she has to spend hours on her appearance just to feel comfortable around other women. Maybe hooks and Lorde are right.

Sunday: I think I feel comfortable without makeup, but I don't feel pretty or stylish. I don't know how important it is to me that I find inherent beauty in my naked face, though. The only time that would serve to be convenient is when I don't have time to put on makeup on days that I really wanted to wear makeup.

Well, 7 days without makeup was certainly interesting... But I'm going to have to make up for it in the next 7 days. Stay tuned to see what I do next week!

How Other Bloggers Do the Holidays

I have so many ideas for holiday blog posts... If only I had the time/energy to do them all! Luckily, I'm not the only blogger in the world doing holiday themed posts this time of year. There are so many awesome posts that I've been reading lately, and I really can't get enough of them! Here are a few of my absolute favorite holiday posts from other bloggers so far this season.

Holiday Stress Management by Makin' It With Marissa

The holidays can be stressful– presents to buy, people to see, places to go, ice to avoid slipping and falling on, etc.– but Marissa is here to help. Follow her advice and let yourself breathe and enjoy this holiday season.

Holiday Gift Guide: Accessories by In Spades

My gift motto is "get them something they never knew they wanted," which mostly means accessories. This is an awesome guide to buying accessories to gift for the holidays and includes some really unique items.

Gift Guide For Your Home by Love Always, Liv

Gifts for the home are always appropriate and appreciated, but they can often be easily forgotten. If you know someone who's impossible to shop for, check out this guide and get them something for their home!

Save Money This Christmas by Whitney Blake

Now this is something I'm all about– saving money! Whitney's tips are super awesome if you're a 20-something looking to be able to spoil your family and friends without going into debt. Besides, it's always an appropriate time to save some money.

Holiday Gifts A-Z by The College Prepster

There are plenty of holiday guides targeting a giftee in specific, but isn't it fun to take a different approach to a gift guide? These are all awesome gift ideas, and the fact that they're alphabetized adds just enough of a twist that it's fun to read.

25 Days of Braids by Bun a Mess but Still Well-Dressed

I'm obsessed with this post series and can't wait to see all the awesome braids Kim comes up with in the 25 days leading up to Christmas! It's unique and seriously cute and also applicable to anyone that's looking for something new to do with their hair.

An Open Letter to North West

#BreakTheInternet

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on Nov 11, 2014 at 6:13pm PST

My dear fellow daughter,

When you were born, you were just as bare as your mother is today on the cover of a magazine. Now, I'm sure you have no idea what is going on because, at the tender age of 17 months, your mother's body is your source of love and life.

Even if an angry reader were to push these pictures in your undoubtedly confused face, you wouldn't see a scandal. Instead, you would see the hips that bore you, the thighs that birthed you, the breasts that fed you.

To some, your mother's body is purely for show. To these people, your mother is showing her body in the wrong way. Well, Ms. North West, you are living proof that your mother's body is much more than just a source of entertainment.

I, too, have a mother, a mother who was never shy about her body when I was your age. I learned from my mother what I hope you learn from yours: that a body is not inherently sexy. Your body serves many more purposes, each more important than the last. Sex is but one function of the human body, and is arguably the least important function.Your body, much like your mother's, gives you life. That life is more important and more of a reason to treasure your body than a sexual gaze could ever be.

You, like my mother, might never appear nude on the cover of a magazine for any number of perfectly valid reasons. You might choose to honor your body by keeping it private, or to keep yourself covered for other personal reasons. But one thing I hope you never do is harass women, including your mother, for the choices they have made concerning how they have chosen to honor their own bodies. Provocative or not, your mother's body is her own, as I'm sure you are well aware, and she may do with it as she pleases. Do not let anyone else tell you otherwise.

You are entitled to your own opinion; this just so happens to be mine.

On Turning 20

Today on my 20th birthday, I'm taking some time to reflect on these last 20 years and the lessons I've learned along the way. These pieces of knowledge are based on my personal experiences, and you may not have found them to be your own truths. I'm sure I'll unlearn several of these lessons, while others still I will continue to have thrust in my face until I truly learn them. As long as I feel I've lived, I know that I have a hell of a lot more life to live and I hope in 20 years I've learned a hell of a lot more.

1. Everyone is different, but different is not synonymous with "bad." Respect differences of opinions, beliefs, cultures, priorities, wants, needs, and lifestyles.

2. Put yourself first. You are the only one who knows what you need and how/when you need it, and there's no use waiting around hoping someone else is going to magically guess exactly what this is. Rely on yourself and you'll find it a lot easier to offer support to those in your life when they need it.

3. Invest in a good bra. I'm not sure what the equivalent of this would be for those of you who don't wear bras, but it's still been an important lesson I've learned in my own life. Trends may come and go, but chances are your breasts aren't going anywhere. Fork over an extra couple bucks and your breasts (and your back and your posture and your self esteem) will thank you.

4. Don't forget to treat yourself. Even if your biggest accomplishment of the day was getting out of bed, it's still an accomplishment. Don't forget to acknowledge and reward yourself for a job well done.

5. Don't take shit from anyone, especially yourself.

6. You don't need to figure out what you're doing with the rest of your life. Not now, not even later. Just live and let your life figure itself out.

7. Leggings do so count as pants. You can absolutely wear socks with sandals, and I'm sure that ugly Christmas sweater you're wearing unironically is warm and comfortable. In other words, wear whatever the hell you want.

8. It's okay to ask for help. The people in your life are here to help you, but chances are they're not going to know what to do if you don't let them know. Once you're back on track you'll be happy to repay the favor.

9. Let your regrets fuel you, not hold you back. As a 15-year-old me once tried to say in an oral English final, "success is the best revenge."

10. Check your privilege. This doesn't mean you need to feel guilty about every choice you make or every word you speak. It does everyone good to examine their own personal bias and how it might affect their behavior and perspective of the world.

11. Listen before you speak, and listen when you're done speaking. There is so much more out there for you to hear and learn than there will ever be for you to say.

12. Do what you need to do to get through the day. I recently accepted that I need to spend more time in bed than most people do, and that just because I'd rather watch Netflix than work out doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I'm just trying to get through my day and if these coping mechanisms help me do so, then more power to me.

13. Make a reasonable budget and actually stick to it.

14. There are some things in life you'll need to do just for the experience. Other things you should never do even if people tell you the experience is worth it. Also: recognize that the people in your life are going to make different mistakes than you and have to try things you never tried to learn important lessons in life.

15. Learn how to prioritize. Make a list if you have to... No one wants to be the person who accidentally makes getting drunk their number one weekend priority every weekend just because they forgot to think about what else they wanted or needed to do that weekend.

16. Learn the difference between an opinion and a belief. One is a sum total of all the information you've gathered on a subject, and the other is simply something you hold true to yourself. Please act accordingly.

17. Try not to knock it until you try it... Note that this rule only applies to little things, like getting a facial or trying fast food.

18. Work hard to develop a loving relationship with yourself. You are the only constant in your life, and the sooner you are able to support and love yourself, the better.

19. You do not owe anything to the toxic people in your life. If someone is consistently taking advantage of you, making your relationship all about them, or making you feel bad about yourself, you do not need them in your life.

20. And finally, spend your life learning and immersing yourself in new things. After all: what is life if not one big learning experience?

World Suicide Prevention Day: Life Ain't Easy

Today is the day upon which National Suicide Prevention Week is based: World Suicide Prevention Day. Every year on September 10th, communities across the globe band together to show their support for suffering members of their community and raise awareness on the subject. It is a day that has, especially following the tragic death of Robin Williams, become more and more recognized across the world.

There are, of course, members of these communities that actively aim to prevent suicide on a daily basis. One of these people is a childhood friend of mine, Kelly, who is a co-founder of one of the most inspirational sites in my bookmarks: Life Ain't Easy, But It's Worth It.

Speaking up about one's experience with suicide-- be it an attempt, thoughts, or knowing someone who's suffered these things-- is incredibly difficult. Kelly does it with grace and true inspiration, and encourages others to speak up as much or as little as they feel comfortable. Her courage and determination is truly motivational to myself, as someone with experience with suicide.

Though I still find it difficult to tell about my personal experience with suicide, I am beyond thrilled to have the blessing of knowing someone who has overcome that challenge. I feel very lucky to be able to support and work with Kelly on her quest to spread the love and stop teen suicide.

You can join Kelly and I on this quest by speaking out about mental health issues to crush the negative stigma that comes associated with them. You can also buy Life Ain't Easy shirts to raise awareness and start conversation. Each and every penny of your purchase goes through preventing teen suicide, be it through sponsoring treatments or supporting organizations that raise awareness. I got the tank top, though I currently have my eye on the baseball tee!

As always, you can shop the contents of this post on my Shopcade.

National Suicide Prevention Week: One World Connected

Suicide: a topic as important to talk about as it is difficult. As mental health has only recently been acknowledged as a type of health instead of being swept under the rug, the dialogue on the subject is sparse. It's understandable-- most of the general public is still in the process of being educated on the realities of mental health that break the taboo created by the ignorance of previous generations of healthcare professionals.

This week, from September 8th to September 14th, is National Suicide Prevention Week. It is more important this week than any other to discuss and learn about mental health. By entering into dialogue on the subject and becoming educated on it, you're offering support to the members of the community who are struggling, whether you know it or not.

As a mental health patient myself, I still find it challenging to discuss certain aspects of my diagnoses. But this week, I am going to try harder to opening myself up and working to break the taboo against mental health. I hope that, in talking about my experience, I can empower those who are too scared to seek help to open themselves up to the possibility.

The theme of the 2014 Suicide Prevention Week is "One World Connected". I almost feel like this was a sign for me to tell this particular story, as it fits well under this theme.

I was one of the first of my group of friends to have a Facebook. Twitter, Tumblr, Google, and Instagram accounts soon followed. I can't tell you how many times I've been told to "stop wasting my time on those stupid websites". But I can't help it. As almost anyone can tell you, social media is entertaining, not to mention addicting.

I've noticed my presence on social media change significantly over the last 5 years. I used to share my every thought with the world regardless of whether or not it was worth a "like" or a response. Now, I'm very strategic about what and when I post. If a thought isn't well composed or a picture is taken in bad lighting, I don't share it.

Most people would accredit this to the feelings of jealousy and self-doubt that can come with seeing every aspect of your friends' lives laid out in a picture-perfect page. Social media allows you to almost recreate yourself into a much more presentable and admirable person. After all, you never see pictures of someone doing their laundry after a week of putting it off or a rash that's plaguing someone's arm. Instead, you see a clean room with a boisterous caption or an OOTD in an extra cute cardigan that, little does anyone know, is hiding a skin problem.

This ability to omit the boring or hard parts of life and only share an exaggerated version of the good in your life is, without a doubt, a cause of envy and self doubt amongst your friends and followers who think your life is exactly how you present it: perfect. And this certainly has contributed to my editing of my social media presence; if in an alternative way.

Over the last five years, I have increasingly taken advantage of social media as a way to make my life seem more glamorous and interesting. I have also found, in these last five years, that the old saying is true: the more you tell yourself something, the more you believe it. The more I tell myself and my followers online that my life is awesome, the more I believe it.

This serves especially useful on days when my life doesn't feel like getting out of bed for, let alone glamorous. By posting a well-shot picture on Instagram, I can prove to myself that my life is worth taking pictures of. On days when I don't feel the point in doing anything, I can force myself out of the house to go on a walk with the intention of finding something to put on Tumblr.

On the day I took and posted this picture, I'd just spent two days in bed feeling too hopeless to get up and do anything. But I got up, put on my favorite skirt, and snapped this picture to prove that I was doing something worth documenting. You can't tell any of this from either the photo or the caption, which was the intention.

I don't particularly mind that the time I spend on social media is considered a waste of time. The person that I am in my social media accounts is, in all honesty, who I really am. Most of the time, though, I find myself too overwhelmed to recognize that. Social media to me is a way to see myself without the harsh negative light of what plagues me in reality

Check back in every day for the next week to learn more about mental health and how you can participate in National Suicide Prevention Week.

For more information on National Suicide Prevention Week

For this year's Information and Media Kit

For support and information year-round, check out Life Ain't Easy, But It's Worth It

The national crisis hotline in America has lines open 24/7: 1-800-273-8255

Visit You Matter for information and advice

Reference this Tumblr post for help

Consult Help Guide for information on and alternatives to self-harm

Don't sacrifice style for comfort

... Or vica versa! I will preach dressing comfortably to infinity and beyond. Luckily, this no longer means walking out of the house in shame for lack of creativity in the common sweat-sweatshirt combo. Dressing comfortably and stylishly takes some getting used to, but it's so worth it!

Don't knock the aforementioned sweat-sweatshirt combo; it can be interesting if you choose the right pieces. I prefer sweats, tees, and sweatshirts in lighter colors like these grays-- it doesn't call so much attention to the fact that you're wearing sweats, a tee, and sweatshirts.

I personally prefer to call these pieces the essentials. They may be plain, but they are also essential. Dress it up if you want to feel comfortable in your skin and your clothing, or leave it be if you're lounging about. Soft fabrics and neutral colors make them easy to match with other comfort clothes or street clothing.

My biggest style trick is the maxi dress: it looks like you've spent time putting yourself together, but in reality, you're basically just wearing a blanket. Other pieces that cover your body and hang loosely around your frame ensure not only comfort, but a self-conscious-free day.

T-shirts don't have to fall straight! You don't have to wear Uggs to get the warmth of fur on your feet! Pajama pants can be worn out! More and more, basic comfort pieces are being updated to be appropriate to wear in public.

For you comfort novices out there, here are some true statement pieces that also happen to be quite comfortable. Bright colors, interesting patterns, and of-the-moment details only serve to decorate soft cotton or flowy silk.

Do you have any tricks to staying comfortable without sacrificing your style? Share them in the comments below!

The Photoshop Issue

The use of Photoshop in advertisements, magazines, and other forms of media has been scrutinized fairly often in the last few years for promoting unhealthy and unrealistic "beauty". I'm sure you've all seen those crazy videos depicting just how easy it is to Photoshop a person into someone absolutely different. Just to reiterate, here are a couple that really blew my mind:

It's long-since been evident that the use of Photoshop to enhance models beyond realistic expectations is harmful to society, and companies have been responding by calling for a ban on retouching in advertisements (read my post on the subject to learn more). The next generation of young people will hopefully grow up in a world where they aren't constantly struggling with an unrealistic image of beauty, but for those of us who have grown up seeing the impossibly long legs and high cheek bones of modern media, it's hard to find comfort in one's natural beauty.

So, where does society stand on the issue of using Photoshop for one's personal use? Retouching personal pictures for Facebook, Instagram, and other social media certainly continues to promote the idea of unrealistic beauty expectations, if on a smaller level. I know that I can't post a picture without retouching my acne, fixing the colors and shadows, and applying a flattering filter to the picture. But doesn't this contribute to the problem of not appreciating natural beauty?

Though I have minimal knowledge of Photoshop (and it certainly shows), it wasn't too hard for me to make this right picture. Guess which picture of myself I like more? Though I know it's unrealistic, My thin thighs and Keira Knightley hair look more appealing to me.

Learning to love oneself is a hard enough road without feeling the constant comparison between reality and modern expectations of society. But does conforming to these expectations promote or demote self-love? There's certainly no correct answer, but it is an interesting thing to think about.

Wear Whatever the Hell You Want

When I think about it, I feel like I've spent my whole life being told what I shouldn't wear. Don't wear more than 1 pattern at a time; never wear heels if you're taller than 5'5"; pastels are reserved for summer beach vacations; blah, blah, blah. Well, I recently decided to ignore all that nonsense. Unless what I like to wear is offensive, uncomfortable, or inappropriate for the setting, why shouldn't I just wear what I like? So what if someone else doesn't like it? So what if it's "against the rules of fashion"? So what if it's "not in style"? 

No matter how many tips and suggestions I post on this blog about what to wear, there's really only one rule of style I truly promote: 

Here's a couple examples of things I love to wear, even though they're "out of style" or "unattractive". I like them, and that's really all that matters. Do you wear whatever the hell you want? Tag me in your next ootd or hashtag #WWTHYW and I might put you on this blog!

My blog, my rules: what to bring to college (pt. 3)

I don't go back to school until the end of September, but I'm starting to realize that everyone else is headed off to school, like, right now. So, this is me attempting to step up and help you out with your packing list before you're already unpacked.

I grew up at the Oregon Coast and now go to school in the rainy city of Seattle, so I guess you could say I know a little bit about what to wear in the rain. Whether you're used to the rain or are anxious about the adjustment, this list will help you pack for the weather. Have anything you want to add? Comment below!

1. Clogs: Honestly, any kind of shoe with a raised platform works. It keeps your shoes out of direct contact with puddles and, in turn, keeps your feet dry.

2. Waterproof (not water-resistant) outerwear: This is a big one-- water-resistant may sound appealing both in price (it's typically cheaper to buy water-resistant) and in title, but the sad truth is that it's simply not going to function like waterproof items do. It's especially important to have waterproof outerwear (jackets, backpacks, bags, etc.) to avoid getting yourself or any valuables ruined by the rain.

3. Infinity scarves: Cute, comfy, and warm; not to mention they serve the added purpose of keeping you dry at a moment's notice! Use an infinity scarf when it's cold but not quite raining out. It'll keep you warm until the rain comes, when you can raise the back part up over your head and keep yourself dry.

4. Wool: Fun fact: wool is probably the best fabric you can wear in the rain. It doesn't soak up water like cotton does, and actually tends to repel water to an extent. Plus, it comes in quite a number of cute items.

5. Modern long-underwear: Don't worry-- long-underwear no longer means the gross, dimpled underwear of days past. Todays long-underwear is simple, sleek, and, of course, warm. Wear it under something cute and watch as no one notices.

If all else fails, remember: layers are your best friend, and it's important to always bring a jacket wherever you go just in case.

My blog, my rules: what to bring to college (pt. 2)

Though I attend a Jesuit school that doesn't have a Greek life, I am well aware of the importance of Greek events. As much as I wish I could give advice on the (often amazing) style of sororities, I'm unfortunately too inexperienced to do so. So, I finagled my friend MacKenzie into writing this piece for me about what to bring to college for Recruitment week. Read on if you're interested in rushing, or if you're looking for a glimpse into what Recruitment week looks like.

Recruitment week is a whirlwind for everyone involved. The days are long, the emotions run high and the anticipation can be both exciting and scary. With all that a potential new member experiences during Recruitment, it is important to come equipped with a few important tools that will help make things as easy and as comfortable as possible. Here are the top five things I recommend everyone going through sorority Recruitment bring along for the ride:

1. Comfortable shoes. You will hear this one from everyone you ask, but it is without a doubt the make-or-break comfort piece for anyone going through Recruitment. Depending on your school, the walks from each house can be long and trying to get from house A to house B in 10 minutes while wobbling in your five-inch heals will be miserable. While I am sure your new pumps are adorable, you will end up wearing your flip flops instead to run from house to house with your cute heels stuffed in your purse. As a final point on this topic, please do not feel pressured to wear killer heals at all. If you feel most confident in your sandals that are perfect to your feet, the house that you belong in will love that you wore those instead of heels!

2. Cough drops. Recruitment will take you into some of the loudest, noise-filled rooms you have ever been in. You will spend your days yelling in order to try to tell the story of what you did over the summer and by the time the day is done, you will most likely be hoarse. Being able to give your throat a coat in between parties will be your best chance at still having a voice by the end of the week.

3. Clothing options. Comfort and self-expression should absolutely be what you aim for when deciding what to wear for Recruitment. As with shoes, comfort is going to be your best route when you’re choosing outfits. It is also always best to err on the side of conservative rather than revealing. During the week you will be doing a lot of walking up stairs or sitting on the ground. The last thing you want is to be worrying about and focusing on making sure that you're not popping out of any of your clothing, no matter how cute the dress is. It just doesn't send the best message. I learned this the rough way on one of the days of my Recruitment experience. I wore these adorable pink shorts and, during a house tour, I glanced in the mirror and noticed that my bright blue underwear were completely visible. I was then so distracted by it that I spent the rest of the day trying to tuck my shirt into my underwear in the hopes that maybe it would hide my thong. I have no idea if I was successful, but I'm sure I looked ridiculous tugging on my pants all day. While I’m sure you know not to wear bright underwear with a light colored bottom, my story is just an example of how getting ready in the morning while nervous for the day can cause last minute outfit crises. It's best to try on all your outfits at home beforehand, keeping in mind that they should be comfortable, relatively conservative, and a confidence booster for you!

4. Questions! As someone who is now going through the prep process on the other side of Recruitment, I know that the girls already in the houses are not only going to be as exhausted by the speed-dating-like conversations, but are also nervous just like you! It is important to know that about one third of the girls in the houses are only a year older than you and that they want to seem cool, nice, and collected. It's great to break the ice by saying things like, "I am so nervous! How are you doing?" or "How does it feel being on this side of rush? Did you feel differently going through?" or "When did you know you wanted to be in this house?". The girls already in the houses want to give you the most information possible, so feel free to ask any questions you may have. Your Recruitment leader will go over what is and is not appropriate to ask, but in general you should ask anything you might be wondering. After all, it is your choice where you end up and you should have as much information as you want before making the choice of where you are going to be living for the next couple of years. A piece of advice my dad has always given me when I'm nervous to talk to new people is to remember that people always love to talk about themselves. Ask your conversational partner about themselves if there is a lull in the conversation!

5. An open mind. "Be yourself and everything will work out" is something you will hear constantly throughout the rush process. While it may be the oldest advice in the book, it really is the best mantra to remember while embarking on Recruitment. You may know girls in the houses from high school, have heard stories or reputations about each chapter, want to follow what houses friends are leaning towards, or even want to form an opinion on a house based on really liking or disliking a certain girl that you meet during rush. However, no matter what you hear before or during rush, you should base your opinions and decisions only on your own personal experiences with the houses. The popularity of the houses does not matter because, at the end of the day, it's the girls inside that you will be spending time with. On a related note, trust that the girls in the house know whether or not they think you will be happy in their house. So many girls start fixating on a house early on in Recruitment and get their heart set on only being in that house. But if that house doesn't think that that girl will be a good fit, chances could be they aren't going to call that girl back. While it may be upsetting at the time to not be invited back to a house you felt you had a connection with, it’s important to trust that because the girls in the house know their chapter best, they will know that you wouldn’t be as happy in their house. Houses may love you as a person but just not think you will fit well in their own chapter. What a great opportunity, then, to gain those girls as friends! In setting her sights only on that house, that girl could become discouraged from the process and not be able to see that the other houses that DID invite her back really do want her as a sister, and think that she would be happy there. Keeping an open mind and being yourself really will be your best bet.

If you end up choosing the sorority life, the right house is out there and those girls are waiting to greet you with open arms. Take a deep breath, trust the process, have fun along the way and you will do great!