OOTD: Blue Lace

Emily got this dress in Ireland and gifted it to me when she was going through her closet at the end of the year. The skater dress style is so Emily, but not something I have a lot of experience with. She owns, like, at least a dozen skater dresses, but this is my first. I wore it to see a local production of Avenue Q when I was in Bend over the summer. I particularly loved my makeup in this look.

Runway-Inspired Makeup: Honor

Eyeliner | Lips

I'm on Snapchat

After literal years of rolling my eyes at what I'd deemed a "stupid teenage fad", I've finally succumbed and reactivated my Snapchat account. What changed? I'd been thinking about getting one with my new phone (because I wouldn't have to worry about it taking up storage on my phone and the camera would take pictures worth sharing). Then, the day I got my phone from the Verizon store, I got this email from the Her Campus Blogger Network.

The email included two articles from other members of the Blogger Network detailing why it's essential that a blogger have a Snapchat. I read them both and was finally convinced to reactivate my account.

I must say: even though I've only been on Snapchat a couple days, I'm really great at it. I post a nice combo of blog/style related pictures and pictures of my day-to-day life. Follow me (or whatever the Snapchat term is) to see more snaps like the ones below: thehannahgold .

Fashionista Friday: Full of Fringe

Photos via: CollegeFashionista, Collage Vintage, Anouska, The Londoner, and Life, Love and the Pursuit of Shoes.

Photos via: Raquel Paiva, Peeptoes, The Blonde's Couture, and Lady Addict.

Fringe is so much fun to wear. Whether it's in a cute pair of shoes, on a rad jacket, or decorating a purse, there are so many ways to wear this trend (and have some fun spinning around in it). The Fashionista in my latest CollegeFashionista article sported fringe on her purse on a brunch date.

How My Brows Have Grown

Eyebrows are kind of having a moment. People are paying more attention to their brows in their beauty routines than ever before. I know I've recently been working to get my eyebrows as on point as possible. Looking back at old pictures of me, the first thing I notice is my minimally-cared for brows. My brows have made quite the transition since I first started plucking them in middle school.

August 2009: I inherited my brows from both sides of my family. The brown color and light density is from my mom, while the insanely long hair is from my dad. I started plucking them when I was in middle school because a cousin of mine had learned how to do it and wanted to gift us all with the gift of manageable brows.

November 2011: I must have taken the thin brow trend seriously long after it's expiration date in the mid-2000's. That, and I have a terrible habit of pulling out my eyebrow hairs when I'm nervous. At least there's a shape there.

November 2012: This was taken during one of the 3 weeks my family was in Bali my senior year of high school. I remember that none of us had remembered a pair of tweezers and my family's brows were consequently out of control. It looks like a break from plucking is just what my brows needed; don't they look much more natural and filled-in than the last picture?

May 2013: Look how little Brendan and I look in this picture from our first prom together! My brows are a little uneven; I didn't have a lot of time (or money) my senior year of high school to get them professionally done or even touched-up.

November 2013: Once I got to college, I had a hard time maintaining my usual beauty routine in my cramped dorm room. These uneven, scraggly brows are brought to you by me trying to grow them out to achieve a more natural eyebrow look.

July 2014: My freshman roommate gave me my first e.l.f. eyebrow palette when we left school, and I did not look at a single tutorial before I started using it regularly. This is evident in the unnatural look of my brows in this picture. I started getting into my brows just a month or two before this picture was taken, which explains the decent shape.

September 2014: This was the thickest my eyebrows have ever been. I wanted a natural shape, which made them a little bushier than I was expecting.

November 2014: A single session at the Benefit Brow Bar at Macy's totally changed my brow game. I asked for "Kardashian brows" and was beyond pleased with the results. This has become the shape that I maintain and I finally learned how to use my eyebrow products correctly. 

July 2015: After 8 months without professional maintenance, I'd say my brows are still looking pretty good. It can be hard to keep the shape up by myself, which is why I use a e.l.f. lifter and treatment to really play up the shape and keep each hair in place.

Looking back, it's strange to see how my brow maintenance routine has so drastically change. I even notice how different my face looks depending on my brow shape. It's taken six years for me to master my eyebrows; I wonder what's next?

OOTD: Mixed Metals

My third Rocksbox came a couple weeks ago and I've been wearing all the items regularly since then. My favorite are these earrings, and I love the gems on this necklace. The bracelet fits a bit strange and the necklace is a bit long, but I loved putting together this outfit to showcase the jewelry. I found it interesting that my Rocksbox stylist sent me three different pieces in three different colors of metal, but I think they went together fairly well. It can be fun to mix and match silver, gold, and bronze.
Sign up for a FREE month of the Rocksbox subscription with the code hannahgoldxoxo and share the code with your friends!

My Story

Yesterday, I shared the story of my mental health history in the following Instagram:

Today is #nationalsuicidepreventionday. I want to join the dialogue on mental health by sharing my story 🌟 I was 15 when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The last five+ years have seen a flurry of therapists, psychiatrists, doctors, hospitals, prescription medication, and a blind search for something that would cure me of the terrors that plague me every single moment of my life. I have not yet found a cure. In fact, I've only managed to get progressively worse. After losing more than a quarter of my life to what is now recognized as chronic depression and anxiety, I'm trying to accept that this is something that I will struggle with the rest of my life. However, I still consider myself beyond lucky to be in a position where I can constantly take advantage of the treatments that are available. It kills me that there are others in my situation who can't even get the help they need. I hope that by sharing my story and moving to destroy the taboo surrounding mental health, people will see that it's ok to ask for help. I hope that opening the dialogue on mental health will create a demand and response for efficient and affordable mental health care across the world. Please do not be afraid to talk about what you have gone through. Join me in the discussion of mental health and help me see these hopes become a reality. #worldsuicidepreventionday

A photo posted by Hannah Goldstein (@thehannahgold) on Sep 10, 2015 at 5:24pm PDT

This experience was, in a word, terrifying. I wish I could tell you some inspiring story about how I worked up the courage to bare my soul to the world for the benefit of contributing to the dialogue on mental health in modern society, but that just wasn't the case. Over the years, I've developed a large number of coping strategies for dealing with anxiety and stressful situations. One of these coping strategies is straight up ignoring the situation I'm in. So, that's how I found myself able to be so vulnerable on the internet.

I'm still pretty nervous about having shared this thing that I tried so hard to keep hidden for so long. It's particularly nerve-wracking thinking about everyone who's read it. Sure, that was what I expected when I shared this on Facebook and Instagram, but it's still weird to think about. I'm friends with everyone on Facebook: my extended family, friends of my mom, my boyfriend's family, the popular kids from high school, people I've been in professional meetings with, etc.. To think that any of these people may have read such a personal story makes me really anxious, but the positive reinforcement I got from sharing my story makes me think the anxiety might be worth it.

It's strange to think that exactly a year ago, I was reading the Survival Stories on Life Ain't Easy But It's Worth It and thinking that I could never speak so honestly about my demons the way these inspiring young women did. Their stories inspired me to keep going and stay strong, even in the face of severe hardships. Maybe my story will do the same for someone else.

National Suicide Prevention Week: Words of Wisdom

One of the hardest things I've had to figure out since being diagnosed with chronic depression five years ago is how to get through the rough times. I don't mean "rough times" as in times when I have five essays due, a midterm to cram for, job apps to submit, and a million other things to do. I mean "rough times" as in times when I cannot possibly get out of bed, let alone go to class or even feed myself properly. This is one of the hardest symptoms of depression for me. 

I figured out a long time ago, though, that these periods of debilitating hopelessness pass with enough time. I used to liken it to drowning in the shallow end of the ocean: eventually the tide will go out and I will be able to touch my feet to the bottom and keep my head consistently above the water. The hard part is waiting for that time to pass. One thing I've found that can help distract me during these periods is doing art.

My favorite form of art is painting. I used to exclusively use acrylics, but I recently rediscovered the box of Crayola watercolors we have leftover from our elementary school years. Sometimes I illustrate quotes, especially if I've found one that's especially fitting to the place I'm in. Given that it's National Suicide Prevention Week, I chose to illustrate a quote that I find particularly inspiring in rough times.

This quote is from the TV show Game of Thrones, an unlikely source for such non-ableist inspiration. Whenever I am worried that I am "too much to handle" or that I am a burden on those around me, I think of this quote. When I look around, most of the people I know don't need to be treated like a child the way I often need when I am suffering the most. I may need more at times than someone who is mentally healthy, but that doesn't mean that I don't deserve the help I need. Hearing this sentiment for the first time at 20 years old was revolutionary, and encouraged me to continue to ask for the help necessary to keeping me alive and (mostly) well. I hope that you read these words or share them with someone who needs to hear them the way I needed to.

I didn't like the colors in my first draft, so I decided to do it again!

I believe that this sentiment is an important contribution to the discussion of mental health. If this or any of my other blog posts on National Suicide Prevention Week have touched you, please join me in engaging in dialogue about mental health tomorrow, September 10, for National Suicide Prevention Day. I will be drawing on my wrists and sharing my story and the stories of others on social media tomorrow, and encourage you to do the same in whatever way you feel comfortable.